| White Chocolate: A Vituperation
by Gideon O. Burton
White chocolate, oh oxymoron foul,
No cocoa bean did bless your candy vat.
We chocoholics taste you and we howl.
What are you? An albino slab of fat,
Hydrogenized and sweetend past remorse,
Then peddled with hyperbole and fraud
To unsuspecting chocophiles, of course,
Who'd rather gargle liver oil from cod.
I've gnawed on better plastic in my day;
More flavor can be found between one's toes.
Perverse confection, fit to throw away,
Unworthy of my chocolate-sniffing nose.
White chocolate, a joke not semisweet,
Your coming means our end is near complete.
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